Momma's Little Ed/Script
is shooting pool using eggs. The one he's aiming for is a striped ball painted orange. Eddy: "Keep your eye on the egg, Ed. Five ball in the corner pocket." shoots it off a chair into a tree, which plops it into Ed's mouth. Ed spits the egg against the wall just as Edd walks in. Edd: "What's going on in here?" Eddy: "Nothing. What?" stands up, eggs replacing his eyes. Ed: "Bingo!" Eddy: "Bingo. Good one." Edd: "Can you two try to behave? I'm almost done." Eddy: "That's what he said two hours ago. There are people waiting for us to take their money and we're stuck." noise comes from the kitchen. Eddy and Ed enter to see Edd working a sewing machine. While Edd examines his work, Eddy appears next to him. Edd: Eddy next to him "GAAAH! Please don't do that." Eddy: "Gee whiz, Double D. I never realized you were into such girl stuff." Edd: "Household tasks are not just for girls, Eddy. And if you must know, I was asked to mend the curtains by Mother. Every child should start their day by completing the tasks set upon them by their parents." Ed: in the curtains "I must eat your brain!" steps on the pedal and Ed is sewn up like a pair of pants. Ed: "I am all dressed up and ready to go, guys!" Eddy: "Fashion victim. Let's go, Double D." Edd: "In a minute. A quick survey to see if I missed any parental sticky notes!" Eddy: watching Edd check for several seconds "Are you bored? 'Cause I'm ready to bust a–" sees a note on the phone. "Oh great. What's this one say? 'Dear Eddward, stop breathing because the sink is clogged.'?" idea suddenly hits him, and he literally sees Edd as the perfect sucker for one of his pranks. Eddy: "If chores is what Double D wants, it's chores Double D gets. Nothing like a little forgery to spark up the day." holds up two notes. "See? This is Mommy's note, and my exact copy." is easy to see the difference. "Pretty good, huh? He'll never tell the difference!" Ed: "That is so lame, Eddy." writes his own note. Eddy: "And you're like a human photocopier, right, Mr. Perfecto?" Ed: "Dare to compare." compares the original with Ed's forgery. Eddy: "Will you ever cease to amaze me, Ed?" Ed: "Yes, I will." ---- is checking a list of sticky notes. Edd: "And last but not least, towels triangulated. Inspected and complete. Well, well, well." enters the kitchen, where his friends are waiting nonchalantly. Edd: "Ready when you are." Eddy: "Hey, Double D, you're slipping, 'cause you missed one." points to a note by a broom. Edd: "Hmm. Dear Eddward, insert broom lint into your belly button. Love, Mom?" him, Eddy giggles. Edd: "Oh my. I hope it's clean." picks the broom up. "Well, um, Mother knows best. Yes indeedy." queasily plucks a piece of the lint from the broom and inserts it into his belly button. Eddy: Ed "Are you seeing what I'm seeing? He did it!" Ed: "What a tree bark." Eddy: "Sap, Ed. Sap." laugh. Edd: linted "Now that the lint is safely tucked away, shall we go, chums?" Ed: "But, Double D, a note I see there." note is stuck to a suit. Edd: "Father's suit! How could I have missed this one?" Eddy: "Yeah, what's with you? Trying to chintz out on your chores?" Edd: "Dear Eddward..." trails off. "Oh my." ---- is sharpening Victor's horns. Rolf: "There you go, Victor. Rolf's eyes sting with your beauty. Ah, Rolf is good." hears a pig squealing. "Wilfred? Have you eaten Rolf's hose again?" has dressed Wilfred in the suit. Edd: "Well, Wilfred, as strange as this may seem, you do look marvelous." licks him. "Guah." Ed: up the pig "Spiffy!" Eddy: "This is too rich!" Edd: "Rich? What's rich?" Eddy: "Wilfred's rich. Um, he looks like a million bucks! Yeah!" Rolf: "Hello, Ed-boys." lowers the pig to reveal an unsmiling Rolf. "Why must you spoil Wilfred with this lavish monkey suit? This will only lead him to search for a life as an airline steward." Ed: "Monkey suit?" Rolf: "Speak to Rolf." Eddy: "Yeah, Double D. Speak to Rolf." shoves Edd into Rolf. Edd: "Oh, there you are! Call it crazy, but it was a chore, if you will. A handwritten request by Father. We communicate through sticky notes." Rolf: "Rolf respects your vow to uphold the Sticky Note of Elders, yet–" puts on a giant hammer hat. "You must be punished." Edd: cowed "What is that, Rolf?" Rolf: "The hat of discipline. Do you live in a cave?" brings it down on Edd. "All is forgiven." Edd: "Thank you, Rolf." Eddy: "Oh, look! We found another note!" holds a measuring cup out to Edd. ---- Edd: "This is absurd, Eddy! What's come over Mother and Father?" is pushing Edd forward. Eddy: "You read the note, Double D, don't be a chicken." Ed: "I'm a monkey!" wearing the suit. Eddy: "You have to do what the note says, Double D." ---- Kankers are skipping rope with a broken chain. Lee: "Jump higher, May!" Marie: "She's too fat." May: "How about a fat lip?" Edd: "Hello?" Kankers stop playing. "Oh, I-I was going to–" Marie: "Ask me for a date?" May: "Sweep me off my feet?" Lee: "Stand in line, girls!" Edd: "Oh yes." giggles nervously. "C-could I trouble you for a cup of sugar?" nervous giggle. Marie: "He wants to share condiments." May: "We're so alike!" Marie: "Back off, bowser!" Lee: "Marie! Grab him before he runs away!" Eddy: from behind a junked car "This is better than cable." Edd: "Ladies, please!" May: "We're ladies!" Lee: "He said please." Marie: "Let's kiss him!" Edd: "Kiss? No not that!" Eddy: "And I thought today was gonna be a write-off. Get it? Write off?" cup flies overhead. "I can't stand it!" collapses with the hilarity. Ed: Edd crawling "Oh no! They tore off Double D's head!" Eddy: "Hurry up, Ed. Write another note." Lee: appearing "Well, if it ain't Tweedledee and Tweedledum." Marie: "You take the short, yappy one, Lee." May: "Beat it, Marie! You had your guy!" throws Marie against a trailer. "I'll take the big goofy one, Lee." Eddy: "Run, Ed!" holds out the measuring cup. Ed: "Don't let me have to use this!" Lee: "What are you gonna do, bake us a cake?" shoves the cup over the Kankers' heads. Ed: "Wait for me, Eddy!" ---- is in his room laughing. Eddy: "Double D, you shoulda seen the look on your face!" falls to the ground in a fit of laughs. "It was so ripe!" Edd: his face "This is so out of control, Eddy! Mother and Father's requests have become unsound! It's as though they were written by someone other than my parents!" Eddy: "Nope. Couldn't be. It was them, alright. Who knows what the next sticky note'll say." Edd: gasping "Oh my, you're right, Eddy. Ssh! Do you hear it? Distress is knocking on my door! Listen. Could it be? IT'S THE STICKY NOTES OF THE APOCALYPSE!!! I can't go home, Eddy. There's only one solution. I'll just move in with one of you." Ed: "Move in with me! Move in with me!" Eddy: "Yeah, Lumpy could use some company." Ed: "We can be like brothers and share the same bathroom." looks disgusted. Edd: "Thank you Ed, that's um...nice. But I'll stay with Eddy. His room has the same proportions as mine, and with a little renovating–" Ed: "Ooh ooh! I know!" runs off to get something. Eddy: "Hey, wait a minute! Don't I have a say in this?" Edd: "Please submit any suggestions anonymously and I'll see if they fit in the plans. You'll just love it!" Ed: "Boink, boink." has smashed a piece of furniture. "Here is a bookshelf, and a new ant farm." slams a hammer down on Eddy's phonograph. Eddy: "My turntable!!!" Edd: "I'm sure my ants will be very happy there, Ed." Eddy "Bless his soul." normally "Let me help, Ed!" Eddy: "Double D, wait! It was all a big joke! Me and Ed–well, mostly Ed, I just watched–wrote those silly sticky notes! Funny, huh?" Edd: "Reality check. I think I can recognize my own parents' handwriting, Eddy. Puh-leeze!" is sawing through nothing. Ed: "Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. I cut the air in two! This side's yours, Double D." gets all of Eddy's possessions except the bed. Edd: a vacuum cleaner "We can share the air, Ed." Eddy: "It's my air! I ain't sharing! Ed, stop sawing the air!" rug is sucked into the vacuum. "My rug!" Edd: "Shag rugs are a magnet for discarded nail trimmings!" points the vacuum cleaner at the bed, and several magazines fly out from under it, sucked away. Eddy: "My magazines!" Edd: "I have plenty of educational reading material we can share! Not to worry!" Eddy: erupting "THAT'S IT! Put back my magazines, my shag rug, and my air!" disco ball clatters to the ground and rolls over to him, broken in many places. Eddy: "MY MIRROR BALL!" Ed: from where the disco ball was "Oops. It wasn't me. Sorry." Eddy: clenched teeth, to Edd "Get out of my room! You're a pest!" Edd: "Fine. No need to repeat yourself. No sir, I'm a good listener. I'll just sleep under a bench somewhere, seeing as I can't return to my home or rely on my friends." leaves Eddy's room sorrowfully. Eddy: "Out with ya! It's gonna take me forever to fix all this air." starts sniveling. "What's with you?" seems ready to burst into tears. Eddy: "What?" eyes fill with tears. "Stop looking at me like that." eyes begin to water. ''"Don't–don't make me have to kick you out." ''begins to cry. "Now look what you did. Double D!" tearfully chases after the lost, lonely Ed-boy. ---- hasn't left Eddy's yard, instead searching for a place to rest his head among the wonders of nature. Edd: "A rock provides shelter to many arthropods." Eddy: "Double D!" rushes out of his house. "Don't touch that rock!" Edd: "It is yours, I suppose. I'll go elsewhere." Eddy: "No, wait!" grabs his friend. "You got it all wrong, pal, it was all Ed's fault, and Kevin, as usual." Edd: "Kevin?" Eddy: "Yeah, that square-headed jerk." Edd: "But Kevin wasn't in this show, Eddy." Eddy: "There you go! So, my room's your room." grins. Edd: Eddy "Thank you, Eddy! Thank you! You won't even know I was there!" Eddy: uncomfortable "Uh, our faces are touching, Double D." ---- is in Eddy's bed. Eddy comes in in his nightclothes, carrying a book and a steaming glass of milk. Eddy sits down on a stool by his bed. Eddy: "Nice and comfy there, Double D?" Edd: "Tuck me, Eddy?" tucks Edd in. "Thank you, Eddy." dips a spoon into the glass of warm milk. He blows the steam from it and feeds it to Edd. Eddy: "Here's your warm milk." finishes his milk, and Eddy picks up the book. Edd: "Biology for the Astute? Good choice, Eddy." Eddy: reading "And so from a still pond a young mosquito, also known as a lar..." stops, not knowing how to pronounce the word. He shows Edd the book. "What's this word?" Edd: "Larva, Eddy." Eddy: "Oh yeah. Where was I?" Edd: "You know, Eddy, Mother and Father before bed would usually massage my feet." sticks out his leg and holds some skin cream out to Eddy. "It relaxes me so." Eddy: out "ED!!!" Category:Season 3 Category:Season 3 Scripts